Calvi - Porto Vecchio: The Corsica Strikes Back

Spoiler alert: there's a major bummer coming up, but first, a picture:

[caption id="attachment_925" align="alignnone" width="640" caption="The Marina at Calvi Reminds me of the Marina"][/caption]

After arriving in Calvi and having a late lunch which consisted of Corsican salad, I began the journey to Porto Vecchio where I would rest for the night.

What's a Corsican salad? I'm glad you asked. Start with a niçoise salad, then take out the tuna and add cured meats, cubes of hard cheese, and some olives. It's pure deliciousness and super healthy because it's a salad.

Most days, the only itinerary that I keep consists of deciding which direction to go and finding a gas station; whatever happens between getting fuel and arriving at the destination is unscripted.

This day started so early that I skipped getting gas and headed straight for the port at Livorno. Upon arriving on Corsica, I admit that my zeal overcame my better judgement and I forewent the option of getting gas at a station that I passed on the way out. The logic made sense at the time:

• Corsica is an island
• Islands are small
• Therefore, it should be easy to find a gas station in a small area

Here are the errors in this logic:

• Not all islands are small
• Some islands are big

As a result, before I could go forward, I had to go back. I'd like to say that this was the only time that this happened, but I can't. One of the great quirks about Continental Europe is that most places shut down on Sunday, including 90% of the gas stations. Along with the 10% of gas stations that stay open, some of the larger European retailers do a great deal of advertising to announce that they stay open on Sunday. This point would be more poignant had I taken a picture of one of the roadside signs which advertise this schedule. Since I don't have a picture of that, here's a picture of Adam Sandler on The Cosby Show:

[caption id="attachment_900" align="alignnone" width="640" caption="Sandler: I Robinson"][/caption]

You may be surprised to learn that "The Cosby Show" is called "I Robinson" in Italy. This is because "Huxtable" means something vulgar in Italian. Similarly, The Simpsons is called "I Simpson", and Family Guy is called "I Griffin". I've been told that it all makes sense when translated.

That little segue was just so I could throw a picture in the blog; I get concerned that you lose interest if the picture to word ratio is off.

Back on Corsica, the trip computer indicated that there were fewer than 50 kilometers between myself and pushing the bike to the nearest gas station. I don't know how long 50 kilometers is in real life, so I rolled the dice and headed back the way that I came in order to get to the gas station that I'd seen earlier. Fortunately, I didn't have to go all the way back to Bastia. Unfortunately, the road from the gas station to Porto Vecchio is Ron Jeremy straight and Peter Pounder long and I had no interest in riding it. However, at just under two hours, it was the shortest route to get to Porto Vecchio on a day that had started at 6:00 AM.

Here's the route, including the backtracking:

I promised you a spoiler, and here it is. All of the video from Corsica is garbage. Here's why:

[caption id="attachment_901" align="alignnone" width="640" caption="Ruined."][/caption]

At first, one might think it is the pigs in the road that ruin the video. That's not it. It's the gigantic sticker that I forgot to take off of the windscreen. It was put there by the folks that run the Corsica Ferries and I completely failed to take it off until I got the sticker for the return trip. So, every second of footage on Corsica has that sticker.

When next we meet, I'll tell you about the battle of the V-Necks at Porto Vecchio.