Day 3: Poitiers to Bordeaux
Current Time: 23:40 (11:40 PM)
Current Location: Bordeaux, France
Total Distance: ~160 miles
Cognac. I never (rarely) touch the stuff back home. However, when one is in Cognac, France, all of a sudden €9,00 for 2cl sounds like a bargain. Believe me when I tell you that it is not. In numbers that make sense, 2cl is 0.02 of a liter. If you would like to know what that quantity looks like, follow these simple steps*:
- Find a two liter bottle
- Cut it roughly in half (you'll soon see why accuracy is not important here)
- Spit into it
That being said, the 'yak was delicious. The funny thing is, they really call it "yak" here. You see, when they offer cognac, they're actually using two words: "con" and "yak". The former is french slang that loosely translates to "idiot" and the second, as previously mentioned, is the real word for the alcohol. When put together, they're asking "I see that you are american and I think you're an idiot, but I know you will pay a small fortune for a tiny spit of my delicious alcohol. Don't bother telling me which one you want, because I'm just going to mix one part rum with three parts bourbon and give it to you." You can see how there is a little that is lost in translation.
But seriously, though, you must try Pruhlo XO, it tastes like vanilla and caramel, with a hint of pepper and stone fruit. Believe it or not, that was my description when I tasted it and before I read the info on the link; I'm proud of me.
After basking in the Cognac sun for an hour so, we got back on the road. It was time for Matty to feed the Ducati again, so we lit a candle and asked GPoS to find us an "essence" station. Take note of what I'm about to tell you, because it's pretty significant if you visit France. Most places are closed on Sunday: butchers, bakers, candlestick makers... and gas stations. The good thing about the gas stations is that they have a automated, pay-by-card option and the bad thing is that they don't take the credit cards that you would expect them to take, i.e. Visa, MasterCard, Discover... just kidding. I threw that last one in there to make sure you were paying attention. On the "for reals", though, it seems they only take their own cards. So, we went to three different gas stations, hoping that one of them would A) be open and 2) take cash, and with every stop, that hope died a little more.
Finally, Matty said: "Let's go back to the first place, and I'll pay someone cash to put it on their card." When we got back there, I noticed a middle-aged Frenchman wearing a green and blue polo shirt with the collar popped to the heavens. He caught my wide eyed stare, and I had no recourse but to say something. I believe that what I said was "place where one purchase gas not card with money". Obviously, he was overwhelmed with my efficient use of the French language and he immediately replied "Non", which means "No, stupid american."
My spirits fell to the floor and I think he saw the hope leave my eyes, and what he said I heard as "OH! There is one, I think. Let me open the back door of my car and ask someone who is sitting back there." He immediately opened the back door of his car and asked someone if there was a gas station open. My hope floated to the surface.
Fueled by hope and not wanting to sleep in Cognac, I eagerly anticipated his response. After he finished filling his car with gas, he showed me on a map where I could find the one gas station in town that sold gas, by cash, on a Sunday. Not surprisingly, it was spitting distance from the place where I sampled the Cognac.
So, the thing that you should pay attention to is that pretty much everything is shut down on a Sunday. ATMs are open, but there is nowhere to spend that money that you withdraw. However, if you find yourself running low on fuel in France on a Sunday, find the nearest Total gas station. Apparently they're the only place that is open and takes cash on a Sunday. And, if you, yourself need fuel, you can buy a fresh baguette from the clerk. I know you think I'm joking, but I'm not.
All for today!
- If you don't want to follow the steps, this is what it looks like:
[caption id="attachment_87" align="alignnone" width="150" caption="Just a Spitful"]
[/caption]
